Friday, July 30, 2010


I saw a man who had a mustache growing out of his nose. It was not just facial hair under his nose, but the entire thing seemed to originate with his nostril hair! Wiry, gray hair filled the nares like an overgrown shrubbery. How does he breathe through his nose? What happens when he gets a runny nose? And the ultimate question: did he grow a mustache because he did not want to deal with trimming his nose hairs, or did the mustache become an excuse to no longer maintain proper nose hygiene? Either way: not acceptable.

Let's change subjects to moviegoers. I was standing in line to buy tickets to see Toy Story 3 with my mom. (Don't worry, I first saw the movie during its opening weekend. I am, after all, a true Toy Story fan.) A man ahead of me in line approached the ticket counter and asked, "Is Salt any good?"

The theater employee was slumped over, drowning in monotony. Without looking up, he said, "I liked it."

The moviegoer then replied, "Then I'll have two tickets."

So was the moviegoer going to decide his movie fate based off of the opinion of a disgruntled ticket salesman? What if the employee had answered "Waste of time" or "I hated it"? It's not like the man would reply, "Then I guess I'll go home." Maybe he was just making small talk. I personally have a policy against making a movie choice based off the impulse response of a grumpy ticket employee.

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