Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Designer Hospital Gowns

Would you buy a designer hospital gown for your next hospital stay?
At the very least, I would love a hospital gown that actually fits. I know there are plenty of extremely obese patients in hospitals these days. I am glad they are accommodated with gowns large enough to fit them. But why do I have to wear their size, too?
Glamour Gowns offers stylish alternatives for your next visit to the H-Place. They are a bit pricey for us frequent hospital guests (with lots o' bills to go along with our sickly social status).

The best part of the Glam Gown is two hidden front pockets to keep tissues, lip gloss and other H-Place essentials. So much better than the EKG pocket over the left breast, which conveniently opens all the way through the gown. Careful! You could be lying down, trying to convalesce amidst the constant cacophony of medical machines and alarms. You feel a chill. You look down and -GASP- one of your ladies has made her way through the EKG pocket!
You tuck her back in and wonder if the previous nurses, doctors or visitors saw the scandalous surprise.
You ask: Why didn't they say anything? Who else could have seen? The rest of your afternoon is spent in a downward mental spiral, eventually leading to: curse this blasted place! Blankety-blank-blank-blankety! (Ah, the things patients have to worry about.)

Glam Gowns also state they offer buttons all the way down the back, especially at the usual vulnerable place. My "vulnerable place" has been exposed before, but hey, at least I have a cute butt.

Make sure you don't order the maternity version, unless you are in the maternal way. Personally, I fit under the category "The Pancreatitis Girl." No baby bumps in my gown, please.

I'll take the Zebra Gown with Pink Sash.

3 comments:

  1. i like the idea of that, and i always think about that throughout the day as patients are getting dressed. They need something more stylish, but then again who wants to poop or pee or barf accidentally on a nice zebra gown and then wear it again sometime? something to think about. And Amy I'd tell you if something somewhere was popping out where it shouldn't be :)

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  2. What a great idea. You should look as fabulous as possible while visiting the H-place. You deserve it.

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  3. Ha, ha...u r hilariouis! Congrats on your wedding!!

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