After reading about The Onion in the USA Today, I decided to check out the website. Here are two important news articles I want to share with you.
Reading these news stories inspired me to write a single sentence:
Especially in these troubled times, I feel it is imperative for any responsible citizen to stay current and conversant concerning the real issues facing Americans today.
How did you think I did? I was trying to sound self-important and vague, all at the same time!
A successful career as a politician awaits me!