Is anyone there?
Oh good, you haven't given up on me.
I haven't posted in five months because I've been so sick. I can't even tell you how many days I have spent in the hospital, I just know I've been there far too many endless days and sleepless nights. I've had several surgeries, too. All because of my chronic pancreatitis.
At least I'm home tonight. I am grateful for every night I am here with Ryan because it means I am not in the hospital.
I'm hooked up to a feeding tube for about twelve hours a day. His name is Kangaroo Joey. He's much more lightweight than RollerBob was, but his wheels are broken, so it is very difficult to get around the apartment. I'm hoping to get a wheelchair so that Ryan can take me on short outings. Maybe when I get stronger.
My feeding tube goes into an incision in my tummy, into my stomach then down into the middle section of my small intestine. The goal is to reduce my pain by letting my pancreas rest. However, the G/J-tube has been a troublemaker from the beginning. It still causes me pain (sometimes excruciating), and I cannot sit up straight, which makes getting on the computer very difficult. I very rarely am able to get on the computer (and on my blog) because of the pain caused by sitting up.
I spend my days on the couch and my nights in bed. I try to lay still to keep from further irritating my incision, which is an open wound.
I do have a few good things going on in my life right now, and I want to share them with you.
Prayers in my behalf
I know many people are praying for me and I feel a sustaining power because of the prayers and faith offered up in my behalf. A few weeks ago I was taken by ambulance to the hospital. I had been absolutely miserable for several days. My pain got so bad that I couldn't move and I couldn't get relief from my home medications. I called the doctor on call and when they finally called me back they were very worried about the dangerous possibility of peritonitis.
My family and some friends fasted and prayed for me and I believe their prayers were answered with a miracle. My fever subsided, the drainage from my wound slowed down and the doctors were able to get my pain down. They tried to give some lame explanations why my case was suddenly not so dangerous, but I know the real reason. I sincerely wish to thank all of you who pray for me. It really helps!
I still had to have surgery to fix some problems with my tube and the tube site incision, but I tolerated the surgery better than I have done with the many surgeries I have had these past months. I was home from the hospital after only one week (that is a short stay compared to my other hospital stays).
I am very grateful to have a supportive family, especially Ryan who cares for me without complaining and without being asked. My mom and dad, and even my aunt Sara, have taken turns flying out here to help take care of me when I've been in the hospital. They have been incredibly helpful. Ryan and I would have been lost without them.
Italian Ice and Werther's
Some other good things in my life right now are Italian ice and Werther's Originals candies. I cannot eat much, but I can have clear liquids, which includes Italian ice. My favorite flavor is mango and Ryan knows he can make my day when he comes home with a box of ices.
Sucking on candy also helps with my hunger and dry mouth. My favorite candy is sugar-free Werther's Originals. I'd probably go crazy if I didn't have those enjoy. Last month Ryan came home with a two-pound bag for me. I sure love my man!
Thank you, dear friends and family, for your continued love and support. If I am slow to respond to texts, phone calls and emails, please know I appreciate hearing from you! Being very ill makes it difficult to talk on the phone or, at times, even focus on text messages. Don't give up on me, and I won't give up either!